"The defense asserts that this game... is awesome."

A little over 2 years ago, a good friend introduced me to, "that one lawyer game." I had already been exposed to other games that were centered around "real" jobs like being a surgeon in Trauma Center or being a cook/mama in Cooking Mama. These games made it work, but I still couldn't imagine a "lawyer game." Being a lawyer requires the act of litigation, which requires speaking. Despite the fact that the DS has a microphone, I was pretty sure you weren't going to be citing legal precedents into it, and if you were, it would be one of the most realistic and boring games ever created. Instead what I got was a game not unlike the adventure games of old, but with a theme that centers around the courthouse. This particular courthouse, however, only sees murder trials, and every one of them is an intense legal battle with objections flying out left and right from the defense and prosecution. Every trial is exciting, and it's always a close battle between the defense and the prosecution. That's why the games are fun... they're NOTHING like the real courthouse.

Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations is the third game in the Phoenix Wright series, and it fixes a lot of the the small qualms I had with the 2nd game. The dialogue is better, and has less of the typos that 2 had, the soundtrack is vastly improved over 2's predominantly disappointing soundtrack, and most importantly, the cases are better. Pretty much everything about 3 was an improvement over 2. 2 added some interesting characters, but overall I find the 3rd game to be far superior to the 2nd. Even so, I still can say I've thoroughly enjoyed the Phoenix Wright "trilogy," and am excited to play Apollo Justice and finally be caught up for the Edgeworth game coming out soon (supposedly February!) Despite all of 2's problems, it still has, in my opinion, one of the best cases in the entire series and sets up a lot of things for 3's epic closing case. Regardless, 3 is a better game overall, which brings me to my closing arguments. 3 was an excellent game, perhaps the best in the series. The series on the whole is a lot of fun, but 3 fixes 2's mistakes. I understand that the games may not be for everyone, but if you're a fan of the original, I can't imagine anyone not enjoying 3. The defense rests.

"Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland..."

I've decided to do this "main feature" of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories in 2 pieces. This way my posts aren't quite as long and I can share my thoughts as I'm playing before I've finished. It seems like a win-win situation for all.

The name, "Silent Hill," has been one of my favorite names in gaming for years. People joke that my interest in law is because of Phoenix Wright. Though partially true, if I only found law to be interesting because of Phoenix Wright, I would've taken 1 week of a Criminal Justice class, dropped it, and gotten back to playing Phoenix Wright. My interest in psychology, however, does stem a lot more from a video game... that being Silent Hill. I've been in love with the series ever since I played the first game. By no means is the entire Silent Hill franchise good, but if it bears the name, "Silent Hill," you can bet I'm going to at least try it. (Anyone know where I can play the arcade game?) Regardless, my love for the series comes from the first game. I play survival horror games because of the first game. I get goosebumps when I hear weather sirens because of the first game. I even like the name, "Cheryl," because of the first game. The first game is a huge part of my gaming life... and my real life as well. You can imagine my excitement when I heard about a re-imagining of Silent Hill, and said excitement being immediately crushed when I saw the "dark world" covered in ice. Regardless, as a man who gives almost any game a chance, I decided it would only be fair to give this one a chance, and I'm sure glad I have.

Now that I've established that the game is based off of the first one, let me say it's nothing like it. Sure, it's still Harry Mason, his daughter Cheryl, and Cybil Bennett... but this game is nothing like the first one. The game starts with you filling out a form about yourself at your therapist's office. After answering a few personal questions, the therapist expressed his disbelief of the integrity of my relationships, and asked if I had, "really never cheated on a partner." I nodded, so he simply shrugged and said, "Okay." ... In the game I mean.

That's one thing I love about Shattered Memories so far. It's very immersive. you direct the flashlight with the Wii remote and press the trigger to zoom in on objects of interest. No longer do you run up to a barely legible sign, press, "X," and wait for the screen to fill with text so you can read it. You walk up to that sign yourself, shine the light on it, and zoom in on it to make it easier for you to read. I have to say, I'm impressed. Unlike the original (as well as the other previous installments), you don't play as Harry Mason, you are Harry Mason.

That brings to mind one last thing I want to talk about in this first part. The cell-phone. This is one of the best aspects of the game in my opinion. Your GPS in your phone replaces the map you would have found in previous titles. Your camera in your phone can be used to uncover only partially visible "spirits" not unlike the Fatal Frame games. On the other hand, it's also just a camera in your phone. Nothing stops you from taking pictures of whatever you feel. Not to mention, it's a phone. You just had a car accident and your daughter has run off and gone missing. Nothing's stopping you from dialing 911, or that phone number on that police car you see in the distance. As a friend of mine says, "It's on you, chief." Though reluctant to give this game all of my praises, it is a very compelling game. So much so, that I can't wait for nightfall so I can once again become fully immersed in Silent Hill.

A Remake of a Remake of a Remake of a Classic

If you think I'm exaggerating that title, I'm not. Going backwards, there's this PSP version, there's the GBA remake: Dawn of Souls, then there's the PSone remake: Final Fantasy Origins, and finally there's the original source material on an NES cartridge. Actually, it gets even more complicated if you really want to dig into it because there was a WonderSwan Color remake and a Final Fantasy I & II compilation on Famicom. The point is, this game has been around. I'm referring to the PSP version in this post.

Has Final Fantasy withstood the test of time? Well, as this remake illustrates, aspects of it have. Other aspects, however, have simply been dropped for the sake of modernization. This game meshes new and old very well. So well, in fact, that you don't really get one or the other. Whether or not that's a good thing is subject to debate.

The main HUGE change is that this game is much, MUCH easier than the original. In fact, it's beyond, "easier," it's just plain, "easy." You can pretty much coast through the game only battling whatever you encounter on your main quest without having to level-grind. That's the "newer" feeling part of the game. The older feeling is the high encounter rate and large areas that you have to explore without a map. At least the battle with Chaos was still pretty satisfying.

Now, while I say the game is easy, I should clarify that the bonus dungeons really aren't that easy. To be honest, because of how many other games I plan to play, I just skipped them. The 2 that I explored a bit of seemed to go the same way: Lots of random encounters, all pretty easy and then BITCHSLAP TO THE FACE Boss. You're dead. At least when you died in these situations, the game just threw you out of the dungeon back into the overworld. This was appreciated because when you enter these bonus dungeons, if you don't have the "exit" spell, you're either going to be leaving the dungeon triumphantly victorious or in a body bag. Unlike every other location in the game, the moment you set foot in one of these bonus dungeons, you're trapped in it. I wish I would have known that.

I've decided to keep this "review" fairly short since everyone already knows what Final Fantasy is. Plus, I need to get on to some more games. In short, this was a lot of fun in that classic "save the world" kind of way. I feel like I haven't really payed my dues though since I haven't played through the original NES version, so I intend to do so at a later date. Keep your eyes peeled for my frustration! I'm already swearing in anticipation of that damned Warmech... which if you didn't know, randomly appears right before you encounter the 4th and final elemental fiend and is nearly as tough as the final boss. Of course, your journey to get to this elemental fiend was fairly long, so if this warmech comes and nukes you, you're going back to the last town you saved at. I can't fucking wait.

"Shit sucked." (AmiYumi Part 2)

And there it is. If asked to describe my experience with Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: The Genie and the Amp in two words, I would nearly instantaneously reply with, "Shit sucked." However, I feel that to truly comprehend the intensity behind that statement, you have to realize the subtle nuances of shitfuckery that make up this game. My friend, who I completed the game with, said, "This is the worst game I've ever completed." I think I may have to agree with this statement. Sure there are worse games out there, but I rarely waste enough of my time to complete these gaming abominations.

Why is this game so bad? Well, considering this a 2-part review, there's a whole mess of things I could say (and have already said). However, to sum up the biggest problems with this game, I need not say more than, "It doesn't work," or, "It's broken." Now, granted, I'm not talking CheetahMen 2 broken, because we have proven that it is actually possible to beat this game, but not without a fight. "Oh," I hear you say, "You mean, it's difficult, right? You mentioned that in the first part of your review." No no, your fight won't be against the enemies in the game. You have to try and tackle the much stronger foe of shitty programming. I didn't mention this in my first review because I hadn't encountered it yet.

In the majority of the video games that I ENJOY playing, when I hear the word, "glitch," I tend to think of things like silly graphical glitches (i.e. seeing through Mario's head in Mario 64 with those awful camera angles). I had heard of more serious "game-breaking" glitches in other games, but I hadn't really personally encountered one before... until now, whereupon instead of merely encountering one, I encountered about 3. The first one we ran into was pretty baffling. My friend and I were fighting hard. He was almost dead, but I had nearly 75% of my life, so it seemed like we would be fine. He died, rendering him a ghost that can only do a tiny fraction of the damage a living character can do. I was still alive and kickin' until suddenly WHAM! My life disappeared, my character fell to the ground and immediately vanished into thin air. This wasn't the result of a magical item or a secret move... my character just disappeared. After a brief swearing session, it had come to our attention that we didn't actually get a "game over." My friend had to continue to fight the mid-boss as a ghost and my character was unaccounted for. Needless to say, this took forever and absolutely should not have happened. Upon reaching the next checkpoint, my character reappeared and we were eventually able to clear the level, but this is a pretty HUGE glitch (and actually happened at least one other time throughout our play-through). "How could it get any worse?" I thought. I simply had to keep playing to find out.

How many beat-em-ups have jumps that impede your progress and will take your lives if you fall in them? Albeit not a lot, there certainly are a few that come to mind, such as that obnoxious bridge jump in Double Dragon. I was a little surprised to see this happen in this game, but it wasn't something I hadn't seen before. Upon sinking into a tar pit, we found ourselves being sent back to the beginning of the section of a level. It was pretty weird since neither of us had fully "sunken" so to speak, and generally being in tar up to your knees wouldn't constitute a death in a video game. This game likes to break the rules... regardless of whether or not it does so intentionally. Despite finding this to be bullshit, it wasn't unreasonable. At least it wasn't the beginning of the whole damned level. We repeated the section, carefully jumping over the pits and rapidly jumping out of them to avoid knee-high tar fatalities. We made it past them and got into one of the usual brawling sequences. Much to our surprise, pleasure, and displeasure, we were actually playing well and not receiving much damage. Suddenly, without rhyme or reason, we stopped moving, and were sent back to the beginning of that section of the level, just like when we'd "died in the tar pit." Ahhh... "And there it is." It all made sense now. We never died in the tar pits, and you can't die in the tar pits. The game randomly glitched and sent us backwards. My friend and I literally stood up and started shouting, "What the fuck?!?!" for nearly 5 minutes.

I believe there's only a few possible explanations for this occurrence. The obvious answer? This game had some terrible programmers and evidently even worse testers. I think the true answer lies beyond this though, as this game is clearly a product of evil forces. It is my presumption that this "reversing" glitch is intentional. I believe that on the easier difficulty, this wouldn't happen. However, knowing that the only people who would bother to beat this game on the hard difficulty already have some seriously masochistic tendencies, the programmers decided they would torture these poor fools further by randomly, but intentionally, throwing players backwards in the game forcing them to repeat various sections.

The other, more optimistic way of looking at these glitches is the "Divine Intervention" theory. This theory states that there is a kind and loving God who tries His very best to ensure no one suffers the entire duration of this game. Throughout the game, a higher power has been constantly trying to get people to stop playing. He works in mysterious ways, sometimes actually causing pain by continuously making players lose. When Satan's power is strong, however, some individuals will continue to play regardless of these frustrations so the higher power attempts to make players believe the game can't be beaten by causing repeat glitches that force players backwards. Unfortunately, there are rare occasions in which His glory is left unseen, and the power of Satan prevails, leaving lost souls doomed for an eternity (10 hours or so) to suffer in the Hell that is, "Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: The Genie and the Amp."

Whichever theory you believe in, just remember one thing. The only way you can truly beat this game is to never play it.

Insert Coin

"I've always wondered what it would be like to feel like a kid again. Now I know." This was one of the first things I said along with, "Sweet!" and, "Oh shi-" upon entering what I believe to be the largest arcade I've ever been in. Off in the distance, I could see a racing section with virtual motorcycles and cars. To my right I could see imported fighting games. Up above, I could see that there were more games upstairs. Hot damn, I was excited. I realize this post isn't my standard review, but it's an account of arcade gaming which is something I rarely get to do. A friend prompted me to give an account of my arcade experience, so I will do so here.

Despite this being the largest arcade I've been in, it was also one of the strangest. I mean, how many arcades that you know of have a bar? Then again, how many arcades do you know of, period? Probably not many unfortunately. Regardless, there was a wide variety of stuff to play. There were common arcade staples like DDR and Time Crisis, but there were some games you rarely see in arcades like a 4 machine-linked Outrun 2 SP Special Deluxe (with 2 driver seats in each vehicle) and imports like Street Fighter IV and Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. The arcade also had a wide array of games for both more casual and more hardcore players. The idea is clearly to appeal to all crowds, but it still seems odd to have something as casual as virtual bowling just a few steps away from something as hardcore as Street Fighter IV. Despite being a big fan of Street Fighter IV and an even bigger fan of Initial D, I have to say the game I was most impressed with was the linked Outrun 2.

The machine has an excellent design for group play. There are 4 "cars" that are all linked together for multiplayer. Each car has two seats, each with a full set of gas and brake pedals, a steering wheel, and a shifter. Sounds pretty beastly, right? It is, and if you're curious as to what it looks like, you can give a quick glance here at Segaarcade.com. The idea is that, when 2 people are in one car, if a person crashes or clears a stage, control will be switched over to the other player. Think of a weird Mario Kart Double Dash where you can't switch out at will... only replace Nintendo characters with Ferrari vehicles... and instead of merely finding it decent, I absolutely loved this game. Each of the cars has some amount of motion included as well, so when you turn your in-game car to the right, your car will tilt a bit accordingly. It's certainly not an accurate motion "simulator", but it does add something. As for the spectator, each of the cars in the machine has a camera to the left of the wheel that will record the faces of the "riders" of each car. It won't distract the player, and it's a fun addition for the spectator. This is truly a very well designed arcade machine. Of course, because of all these neat features, it has to be insanely expensive. I tried to look for prices online, but after a few minutes with no results, I came to the conclusion that I probably don't want to know the price.

Moving away from the driving section, let's talk about the shooters. I'm going to talk about one in particular, since I doubt I'll be seeing it anywhere else, that being The House of the Dead 4: Special. We all know what the House of the Dead is... so what makes a "special edition?" How about having the players strapped in to a roller-coaster-like seat that spins you around so you can shoot at enemies that are pursuing you from behind? Awesome. Otherwise you've got classic shooter gameplay. The hero and heroine step out of JCpenney's and into a zombie apocalypse. Okay, I stole the JCpenney's thing from my friend, Carlos, who I played with, but he's onto something. Seriously, look! Particularly the girl, what's with that scarf? Still, the game was awesome, but it was clearly a "date game." I found out that I have a 68% compatibility with Carlos. Our characters hugged. Maybe the game heard me when I yelled, "I love you, bro!" Yeah, my sincerest apologies to Carlos, I was pretty obnoxious when I played, but it seemed obligatory given the circumstances. At least I don't think I was as obnoxious as the attendant who yelled, "Welcome to CarnEvil!" upon our starting the game. Oh well, it's all in good fun. My only problem with the game was that I had some serious issues throwing grenades. You're supposed to press and hold down a button on the light gun, the idea being the longer you hold it, the farther you throw it. Unfortunately, I would continuously just tap the button because I didn't want to throw the grenade very far. Apparently it wasn't enough to warrant throwing the grenade to just tap the button. Can't we go back to the really old school method of just shooting the grenade on-screen?

These are some good examples of what I like about arcades. For one, there is no home version of House of the Dead 4, but even if there was, you'd never get to play like you would in this scenario. Outrun is an even better example in my opinion. Home versions of the game are still fun, but you can't help but feel a little disappointed when you play the home version after playing that beast in an arcade setting. Even games that don't have super advanced cabinets have a certain feel to them that can't be matched at home. Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot of Street Fighter competition this time, but I think it just wasn't a night for the SF crowd. I could probably go on forever about this arcade, so I think I'll stop it here. There was a lot of good about this place, but unfortunately there were a few minor problems. One of the SF IV cabinets had a faulty fierce punch. It's bad enough to have any buttons being faulty on a pricey import like SF IV, but fierce punch? That renders Ken unplayable. If only you could disable fierce punch in online matches... There were a few other machines that were out of commission, but such is the nature of an arcade. My biggest problem with the place is that it's a 2-hour drive one-way to get to it. I wish arcades weren't dead and were still around. Oh well, I guess I'll have to accept that people would much prefer playing WoW or other online games. I guess at least with WoW, you don't have to keep putting money into it if you want to keep playing.

Oh... wait...

That's all for now, so until next time, Game Over.

"What, you think this is a volleyball? Get with the game, chump!"

They say the best things in life are free. Despite this rarely applying to video games, I present to you a rare instance of a game that supports the old saying: Barkley, Shut up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa. Before I begin, I'd like to reiterate the fact that this game is FREE. You can get it here and I strongly suggest that you do. As the name suggests, you're in for a humorous gaming experience, but my reasons for recommending this game go far, FAR beyond the hilarity. However, if this review seems a bit lacking or vague at times, it is merely because I am trying (with great difficulty) to make sure that I don't spoil any of the game. I believe here it is important to mention that the game is an RPG. Yep, that's right, an RPG with Charles Barkley... but that's just the beginning.

As I stated before, I don't want to spoil any of the game because the humor is at its finest when you see it for yourself. What I can tell you, however, is that the story is hilarious. At times, the game was difficult to put down because I simply had to see where Barkley would end up next. It is true that the game will make many references to basketball and people involved in the sport, but it doesn't matter. I know very little about basketball and still enjoyed this game thoroughly.

For many, the most important part of an RPG is the story, and although in this regard Barkley, SU&J:G will not disappoint, there is so much more to this game. I started this game for the novelty and hilarity, but the gameplay is no joke. Going into this game, I expected simple turn-based battles like those of the original Final Fantasy or Dragon Warrior. While this game still uses a variation of turn-based battles, I was pleasantly surprised to see that this game has a more active battle system. For starters, the game doesn't use random battles. The enemies can be seen on the overworld screen and approached from behind for a preemptive attack. In addition, the battles themselves are more engaging. For example, one of Barkley's attacks has you holding down the action button while a cursor goes up and down through a target zone. If you time it right and release the button when the cursor is in the middle of this zone, more damage will be dealt to the enemies. Although not an entirely new innovation, as similar battle systems are found in the Mario and Luigi and Paper Mario games, it's far above and beyond what you'd expect from a free game made by a few people in an RPG Maker program. In addition, not only does Barkley have two other attacks that use different action mechanisms, there are several other playable characters that are met throughout the game and every single character has their own individual attack mechanisms. That's right, you won't just find yourself doing the same timing trick over and over; every character has different moves that are all done through varying active commands. This is very impressive to say the least.

Another aspect of some importance is that of the graphics. The graphics look to be about the kind of graphics that would be seen on the SNES. They're not ugly by any means, but they aren't particularly aesthetically pleasing either. However, the creators used these less than perfect graphics to their advantage. In fact, these limitations actually added to the humor on several occasions. At one point, I found myself squinting at a smaller sprite roaming about the overworld, thinking it looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on why. When the bigger, more fleshed out sprite appeared in battle, I laughed hysterically at the now clear image. There are other instances in the game where before you talk to a character, you see a sprite and think, "is that... no it can't be..." which makes it that much funnier when you talk to the person and see them up close. When playing Barkley, SU&J:G, be sure to have an astute eye for some of the sprites, as some of them are jokes in and of themselves.


One more aspect that absolutely cannot go unnoticed is that of the music. The creators did an excellent job of composing tracks that fit the various settings, particularly the boss battle theme. However, in addition to these original compositions, there are a few other tracks throughout the game that are taken from other sources. On these rare occasions, the other tracks are used for humor purposes, and trust me when I say it's absolutely hilarious. Unfortunately, saying much aside from that would spoil some of the funniest moments of the game, but it should go without saying that it's important to keep the speakers on when playing this one so as to not miss any of the fun.

At 6-7 hours of gameplay, Barkley, SU&J:G never overstays its welcome while still offering a game of satisfying length and promises to be one of the funniest games you'll ever play. Despite it not being a major title from Square-Enix or a smash hit from Atlus, Barkley, Shut up and Jam: Gaiden proves to slam with the best as opposed to merely jam with the rest.

More like DUPLO Rock Band...

When I first saw previews for Lego Rock Band several months ago, I looked at them with disgust. I have loved the Guitar Hero games since the beginning and was equally excited the first time I played the original Rock Band. However, despite being a big fan, I have to admit that the Guitar Hero/Rock Band craze has gotten a little out of hand. Guitar Hero's got, 1-5, rocks the 80s, Aerosmith, Metallica, and Van Halen in addition to 3 DS games and an arcade game. Rock Band doesn't have quite as large of a library, but it's got 1-2, Beatles, 6 track packs, and Unplugged. I should say, it had all of those. Now it also has Lego Rock Band. The next logical step right?

I can't say anything about the actual console Lego Rock Band, but I can talk about the DS version and compare it to PSP's Rock Band: Unplugged. When I first started playing, I was expecting gameplay identical to RB: Unplugged with a different set-list. For the most part, my presumptions were correct, but there are some differences.

The first, and most obvious difference is the difficulty. Granted, I was expecting this game to be easier than Unplugged due to it's "family-friendly" nature, but I'm still a little shocked at how easy it is. I realize that sounds incredibly arrogant, but this requires a little explanation. RB: Unplugged uses the same merciless system that Amplitude and Frequency used so many years earlier. You have to get entire phrases at a time, not just individual notes like you do in GH and RB on consoles. Translated: if you have a 40 note phrase and hit 39 notes but miss the last note, in terms of your lifebar/rock meter/whatever, it's the same as if you hadn't hit any of those 40 notes. Lego Rock Band is far more merciful. After capturing a phrase, you could switch to another track and probably sit there for about 10 notes before playing any and it wouldn't cost you your multiplier.

While I can hardly hold it against a game that has, "Lego" in the title, it does seem to be a bit too forgiving. This isn't my main problem however. The system, although similar to RB: Unplugged's, has a slight difference that makes it feel awkward. Standard rules that apply to Amplitude, Frequency, and RB: Unplugged state that after you complete a phrase, notes on that track disappear forcing you to switch to another track. This rule does not apply to Lego Rock Band which makes for an incredibly awkward experience. Instead of the track disappearing upon completion, it will instead momentarily go transparent but you can continue to play these notes. It seemed as though the game never actually requires you to switch tracks. I decided to test this theory and found that it is absolutely correct.

THIS stands out as a huge problem to me. For example, right now, I'm looking at a screen that tells me my accuracy on the previous song. For bass, drums, and microphone, there's simply a dash as I never changed the track, and there is a "100%" for guitar. This yielded me a 4-star score. Granted you'll never get a 5-star this way, but it seems to me that it's a big problem if a major game mechanic isn't even required.

In conclusion, the game isn't terrible, but has some rather large flaws. The song list is, as always, subject to personal opinion (though this one has something like 5 emo songs...) The Lego presentation is cute, but that's not what I was looking at here. In the end, you've got a small little diversion that has some fun songs but nothing more. Oh, and the game left me with one very important question. Can I actually get a Lego figurine of Freddie Mercury?

(Static hissing) Nori!

"It all started when we first said, 'Let’s play this shitty game.'
We played a game that’s so lame and bad that soon we went insane.
An awful beat-em up (sonna koto nai!)
with no hit de-tect-ion. (ano ogiri!)
And diff-i-cul-ty far bey-ond the de-mo-graph-ic’s skill! (Eins zwei drei!)
THE D-S PUFFY AMIYUMI GAME!
D-S PUFFY AMIYUMI GAME!
D-S PUFFY AMIYUMI GAME!
Anything is possible..."

Evidently anything is possible if you can take a beat-em-up and screw it up this bad. Okay, so I might be exaggerating a little... but not much. Let's delve into the catastrophe that is, "Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: The Genie and the Amp."

When you think about the Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi show, what's the first thing that comes to mind? If it isn't suicide, you probably think of the poor animation, bad jokes, and un-hilarious antics of the dynamic duo. Let's divert our attention away from the show, however, and towards the viewer demographic. I would think that most of us think of the demographic as being children, predominantly girls. Having said that, most of us would assume that a video game based on a cartoon would be targeted towards fans of the cartoon. I highly doubt that any kid would have the patience to beat this garbage.

Let me take a moment to explain. To be fair, the game starts off with allowing you to choose between one of two difficulties: "Hard rock" or "Easy listening." Being 19 and 21 respectively, my friend and I decided to go with the harder difficulty. We screwed up, and we screwed up bad.

As soon as the game started up, we thought we knew what to expect. Run, beat up a few enemies, get to the boss and beat him up. What we hadn't planned on, however, was getting our asses kicked. Now, each level does have a checkpoint in it. However, in the first level of the game, it took my friend and I somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes to reach the checkpoint. Granted, there wasn't a lot of level after that, but it's still unreasonable. I think it goes without saying, but just in case it doesn't, if you die before reaching that checkpoint, you're going to be starting the entire level over. What a pain in the ass.

Eventually, after many vulgarities, we found ourselves at the second level. Though more of the same crap, it was much easier. Maybe we were just getting more situated (a scary thought). Nothing could prepare us for the amount of bullshit we would be confronted with in the next level.

Without going into detail, we found ourselves at the boss of this level pretty quickly. "Thank God," we thought, "Maybe the game's not going to take so long after all." Oh how were we wrong. Oh shit how we were wrong. The boss of this level is actually a group of three enemies. Well, as though being raped from 3 sides isn't bad enough, there's a catch, and it's a HUGE catch. Before any damage can be inflicted on these three enemies, you first have to hit Kaz, who is running around like his ass is on fire. It's at this point where the game really turns to complete garbage. The hit detection on Kaz is atrocious. In fact, I'm not even sure if "atrocious" is enough to describe just how bad the hit detection is here. I have done running attacks (cartwheels) into him and just sort of rolled in place. I'll try and kick him in his face and he'll walk past me leaving me standing in place kicking around like I've got some serious muscle spasms. This, of course, leaves me completely open to take hits from the enemies which quickly leads to my demise.

Eventually, we were able to finish this level, but what the hell is wrong here? Two males, 19 and 21, who are relatively skilled in the ways of video games are standing up, cheering, and fist-pumping at the end of a level of a Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi DS game. Something is seriously wrong with this situation. Tragically, this isn't even the worst part... We're not even half-way through the game yet. Ugh... look for Part 2 later on where I conclude my thoughts on this game.

Teacher, mother, secret lover...

Television?   For Homer Simpson, yes.   For me, however, video games filled these roles more than television.   I constantly find myself ranting/raving about whatever game I'm playing at the time, likely to the annoyance of those around me.   On several occasions, I've had a few friends say, "Dude, you should write a blog."   I presume I'm told this because it is a courteous alternative to, "shut up," but either way I've decided to start a blog.   Though the main intent of this blog is to share my thoughts on the various games I've played, there are sure to be plenty of "bonuses."   For example, I've taken on a quest to find the worst-tasting beer out there.   Posts are sure to follow on that topic.   I may also have special features for terrible games.   (For instance, a friend and I are suffering our way through one right now.)   This way at least I can pretend to review games.   Unfortunately, I highly doubt I'll be able to get a job reviewing games, but a man can dream... a man can dream.