"Wahoo!"

He's got big floppy ears, a hat with Pac-man on it, and I don't know what the hell he is, but he sure is cute. He's Klonoa, and he's starred in some of the best platforming games I've ever played. Klonoa: Door to Phantomile on the PS1 is a 2.5D platformer, meaning it plays predominantly like a 2D platformer with moments in which players can periodically interact with the background and foreground. It stays pretty true to the 2D formula, but the 3D elements do spice things up and keep it interesting. The game is a little too easy, but it does increase in difficulty at a decent pace. It's a little on the easy side, even in the end, although the bonus level poses a tough and very satisfying challenge. The lack of challenge never takes away from the fun of the game, however, as the level design is great and provides a lot of fun and variety. In short, I love the game. Klonoa is an extremely lovable character, but despite the overwhelming level of cuteness, the game ends on a far more serious and somber note. It really gives meaning to the whole thing and makes it far more memorable. It's a very short game, however, and can easily be completed in a weekend, and likely could be beaten in an afternoon.

Despite the lack of popularity, Klonoa did get a sequel on PS2, Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil. Like it's predecessor, Klonoa 2 plays in a 2.5D fashion. The graphics have received a hefty update and give the game the look of a colorful cartoon. For the most part, Klonoa 2 is just more of what the first game was, but that's by no means a bad thing. It's still overly cute, though I didn't get quite as attached to the second game as much as I did the first. It's still very solid platforming, a lot of fun, and a worthy successor to the first game.

Unfortunately, this is where the main series ends. As of late, there are no more true entries in the main Klonoa series. It should be noted that there was a remake of the original game released for the Wii in 2009, but that can hardly be considered another entry in the series. After the two main games, there were 2 handheld Klonoa games for the GBA.

Klonoa: Empire of Dreams and Klonoa 2: Dream Champ Tournament are fundamentally the same. Both are strictly in 2D as opposed to the 2.5 system seen in their console brothers, likely due to technical constraints. That doesn't mean these games should be overlooked however. The main game mechanic of picking up enemies and using them to double-jump is still in the GBA games, but the games are more puzzle-based than simply platformers. In fact, both games actually provide some rather challenging puzzles. They're more puzzle than platformer, while still having strong platforming elements. Calling them platformers would be like calling Portal an FPS. You're not entirely wrong... but you're not quite right either.

The GBA games don't have stories or music I connected with like the console games do, but that's to be expected and they do still have twists to try and keep things from getting too stale. Ironically enough, the GBA games probably take longer to complete than the console games, though it's tougher for me to judge, as I tended to play them in small doses. Such is the nature of handhelds sometimes. Overall the GBA games are decent additions to the Klonoa franchise, but they simply don't live up to the console games. They do still provide a fun, albeit different gaming experience, along with some head-scratching areas that will leave you feeling satisfied once you have found the solution.

Before I finish, I would like to talk a bit more about the Wii version of Klonoa which I mentioned earlier. As I said, it is a remake of the original Door to Phantomile, but there have been some minor changes. The only major change from the original is the graphics, which is to be expected. The game looks more like how Klonoa 2 did, which isn't a bad thing. Klonoa's design has also been changed ever so slightly, as they for some reason removed his collar in the Wii version (although the original costume is unlocked after completing the game). I don't really like the change, but it's so subtle, that I don't really dislike it either. The other changes, however, I'm not as pleased with. For one, an easy game has been made even easier. The original Door to Phantomile on PS1 allowed for 6 hits before taking a life, but the Wii version has bumped it up to 10 hits. Not only that, but hearts heal more than they did. In the original, a small heart would heal 1 hit, and a big heart would heal 3 hits. In the Wii version, hearts heal double, with small and big healing 2 and 6 hits respectively. Considering one of my only complaints with the original was that it was a bit too easy, it's understandable why I don't like these changes. Finally, English voices have been added, and while they're not atrocious, the game works much better with characters speaking in "Phantomillian" gibberish. Thankfully, there is a "Phantomillian" language option, but curiously, this gibberish has all been re-recorded for the Wii version. One last thing is that Klonoa was given a new ability that can slow down nearby enemies, but frankly, I never once used it. The original PS1 game is certainly the definitive version of the game, but the Wii game is a lot cheaper and easier to find, so if it's your only option, you should still gladly take it.

I've certainly gone on long enough this time, but try to understand that Door to Phantomile and Klonoa 2 are among my absolute favorite platformers. I felt as though I should give the little guy some love, since so few others do. I'd love to see another true Klonoa game, but I can't say that I'm optimistic. That said, I'll gladly replay these gems any day and leave the thought of a new game to dreams.

"Ryu, be always brave..."

Let’s talk a little bit about Ninja Gaiden. It’s pretty popular and almost everyone knows what it is. However, I found motivation to write about these classic games after another bored session of Omegle. I was telling someone about the various games I play, and I said, “Mega Man, Ninja Gaiden, Super Mario Bros, Castlevania... classics.” I figured I should go with famous titles. If I said, “Sparkster, Klonoa, Journey to Silius, and Secret of Mana,” a lot of gamers wouldn't know what the hell I was talking about, especially more modern gamers. However, his response proved his “modern gamer” status all on its own. “I love Ninja Gaiden.” Knowing what was probably coming next, I asked, “On what system?”

“PS3.”

Chances are he didn’t even realize there were old Ninja Gaiden games. While I hear the new games are good, and I really would like to play them, the classic NES trilogy should not be forgotten, as they are some of the finest examples of platforming from their time. There’s one simple thing about these games that stands out for me in terms of excellence and, in my opinion, withstands the test of time. It’s not the cutscenes, as obviously those have done nothing but evolve since their humble beginnings in games like Ninja Gaiden. It’s not the difficulty, though these games still prove to be immensely challenging. Even the excellent soundtracks are not what I would consider the highlight of the series. What is it then that stands out so much in my mind? The control. These games are fast-paced, but thanks to tight controls, there actually are ways to avoid the game’s many seemingly impossible deathtraps. Nothing against Castlevania, but if Ryu controlled like Simon Belmont does, Ninja Gaiden would likely be impossible.

However, you may have noticed that at no point have I said that these games are “fair,” or that “every death feels like it could have been easily prevented.” Oh no, I’m not saying that at all. You will die, and you will die a lot. You have to learn to go around the game’s problems such as infinite respawning of enemies and the pitfalls that are rampant throughout the entire series. A particular section of 5-3 in the first game stands out distinctly in my mind. There’s a pit in front of you and a bat coming at you… what do you do? 1st attempt: Kill the bat and jump! You kill the bat, he respawns over the pit, you hit him, and fall to your death. Care to try again? Wait for the right placement, jump the bat carefully, and BAM! A cheetah comes from nowhere and knocks you back into the pit. While these deaths can and will be prevented once you learn the level, there’s literally NO WAY you could possibly react to these death traps the first time you encounter them. Not to mention 6-2 of the first game, don’t even get me started on that crap.

What’s that, player? You haven’t had enough of this? How about sending you back through the hardest section of the game when you fail the final boss just once? How about creating stage hazards in the second game to trip you up? How about throwing you back multiple sections every time you die, AND limited continues in the third game? You still want to play, player?

If any of that doesn’t sound fun, you might be on to something. These games are excessively hard and they’re going to punish you every chance they get. So am I some crazy masochist for wanting to finish all three of these games? Possibly, but I would have given up long ago if these games didn’t all have such excellent control. Still, these games push the limits of what a hard game should be. They all have to be done in one sitting, no battery backup or passwords, and in the case of Ninja Gaiden III, you get limited continues. It should be noted that both of those problems are remedied in the SNES compilation, "Ninja Gaiden Trilogy," but there the music sounds considerably worse and I'm not fond of the controls. I understand it uses the exact same button scheme as the NES games, but using Y as attack and B as jump would have made more sense on an SNES controller than using B and A. The NES versions are the way to go.

All in all, the Ninja Gaiden series stands out as 3 fast-paced, viciously hard, and immensely satisfying games on the NES. I'm not going to pretend that these games aren't frustrating, because every one of them frustrated the hell out of me, particularly 3 with it's even more punishing difficulty. If you go into them expecting to repeat levels a lot, however, you may find yourself with some masochistic tendencies, and enjoying the games a lot. Or... you could, you know... use an emulator and save states like everyone else. You don't HAVE to be as stubborn/dumb as I am.

(Final note: that line still makes me laugh. "Ryu, u sexist?")