Revisiting The Worst Place in America

I’m about 2 ½ years late, but I did finally play through Grand Theft Auto IV. I had seen (and played) a little bit of the game when it had first come out, but I really had minimal experience with the game. From what I had heard and seen though, I went into the game knowing it was a much more dark and serious game in comparison to the light, ridiculous tone that made up most of the previous games in the series.

The game actually had more of the humor that I love than I was expecting. The radio is still chock-full of satirical ads and DJ’s (including Lazlow), the city is overflowing with ridiculous billboards and businesses, and citizens of Liberty city still have plenty of things to say while you’re racing past them, pushing them over, or discharging firearms in the park. It’s still GTA.

After GTA III, Vice City added motorcycles to the mix, but was mainly just a change of environment and time period. That certainly wasn’t a bad thing, but drastic changes came along with San Andreas. A massive, and I do mean MASSIVE world to play in, with the addition of fat, muscle, and sex appeal bars that felt like something out of The Sims. Many of the changes in San Andreas were welcome additions, but it did feel a little overwhelming at times. It was time for GTA IV to come along, drop these "Sims bars," and change things again.

Instead of focusing on sheer size like San Andreas did, GTA IV puts more effort into detail. GTA IV isn’t as large as San Andreas, but the attention to detail is incredible. Stealing a parked car now requires you to smash out the window and wait while Niko hotwires the car. Exiting a car without shutting it off means you’ll hear the muffled music of the radio playing. Drive-by’s require you to smash out the window with your elbow before you can shoot. Not paying tolls will get you a 1-star wanted level. There are a lot of subtle things. All of this detail makes things look more realistic. More realistic environments create a more realistic experience.

It’s not just the environments however. Now cars don’t handle nearly as well as they used to. It actually takes a while to slow your car down when you’re traveling at over 100 mph. Head-on collisions throw you through the windshield and kill other drivers. I realize I’ve already made my point, but the amount of detail is incredible when you first see it. I suppose these comments would have been slightly more relevant when the game was new… but whatever.

What does it all add up to? Liberty City is now a thriving metropolis that can pretty much run itself. The big question for me though, was, “Is it still fun?” The answer came to me when I was learning the new physics and found myself sliding off the road smashing into pedestrians. “Yes,” I thought, “It is still fun.” However, I still argue that the fun factor of the game has taken a hit. This mainly comes out of two elements, those being the story, and the addition of a cell phone. The story has taken a much darker, more serious tone compared to earlier games such as GTA III and Vice City. San Andreas started to go in a more serious direction, but it’s still a lot more ridiculous than GTA IV (and I mean “ridiculous” in a good way). While I can understand some people enjoying the new style more, I personally miss the silliness that used to comprise most of GTA.

The other annoyance I mentioned is that of the cell phone. I should clarify, the cell phone actually has some pretty neat uses throughout the game, but the one you’ll see most often is a lot less interesting. “COUSIN, IT IS YOUR COUSIN.” Ugh… dammit Roman... And it’s not just Roman. All of your friends are bugging you to hang out with them, or getting uppity because you don’t call them. Someone was talking to me about their take on the cell phone mechanic in GTA IV and said, “I don’t even like dealing with that in real-life.” That’s exactly it. Having that element may be more realistic, but it isn’t as much fun. I realize it’s true that you could ignore all of these requests to hang out, but you’re encouraged to and eventually rewarded for doing so, with different friends having different ways they can help you if they like you enough. (I.E. The ability to provide you with weapons at a discounted price)

Grand Theft Auto IV is one of the most technically impressive games I’ve seen. Aside from the already rather long story, the game also offers a lot of various side missions. That reminds me, however, of another annoyance. It’s not really part of the game… so it’s difficult to call it a problem with the game, but it’s one of the worst achievements I’ve seen in a game. One of the achievements requires you to finish the story in under 30 hours. I’ve been told by trophy-hunting experts (you know who you are) that this isn’t hard to do. It was for me however, because I actually ENJOYED what the game has to offer. I ENJOYED driving around the city. I ENJOYED doing the car export side missions. I ENJOYED watching citizens of Liberty City interact with each other and react to me being a jackass. As such, I was punished by not receiving one of the most valuable achievements in the game. Probably everyone reading this already knows how I feel about achievements, but this is even worse than your typical achievements. Why in the hell would you include a time-sensitive trophy in a sandbox game you’re encouraged to mess around with? In the words of Hank Hill, “That’s just asinine.”

Annoyances aside, GTA IV is a fantastic game that I’m glad I’ve played. I probably won’t be downloading the new mission packs, as I would much rather just be a jackass in Liberty City. That’s how I’ve always played GTA games. The first part of the game is playing the story, unlocking the city and getting armed with weapons. Then, let loose and mess with the city. Just make sure not too have too much fun before completing the story or you won’t get a high-level achievement! Ugh... achievements.

Achievement Unlocked: These Are The Breaks

(This is how most gamers react when I start to talk about achievements.)

It's time I finally talked about something remotely relevant to current gaming. I know, achievements/trophies are nothing new, but they're a large part of what is apparently now the current standard in gaming. As someone who's predominantly stuck in the past when it comes to video games, trophy/achievement hunting was a new experience, one that left me feeling dirty, like a cheater, and ultimately unrewarded. I decided one of the only ways I could get myself to truly hunt for trophies would be with games from a time-period I'm more comfortable with, so I trophy-hunted in Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection on PS3.

While I'm generally against resorting to walkthroughs or FAQ's right from the get-go, I figured the best way to get the full experience of trophy-whoring (or "trophy-hunting" if you prefer to use euphemisms) would be to load up a trophy guide and shoot down the list. Again, I already felt dirty by this point, but I was merely getting started. Let's talk about some "highlights." Ecco the Dolphin has one of the most pathetic trophies in the entire collection... "Talk to another dolphin." For those of you who don't know Ecco the Dolphin, this means in the first area of the game, you go up to a fellow dolphin (who's very close by) and press a button near him. DONE. Bronze trophy. "I got awarded for that?" I thought to myself. I wasn't anywhere close to done yet.

While that trophy was pathetic, I wouldn't call it game-breaking. I mean, you have to communicate with other dolphins in Ecco to play the game... you just also have to do a whole lot MORE than communicate with other dolphins to actually play through the game. There are plenty of trophies in the Genesis collection, however, that ARE game-breaking. In true trophy-hunting fashion, let's go down the list. Bonanza Brothers requires you to reach a certain amount of points in the first level. My goal? Complete the level as fast as possible collecting a big time bonus at the end. Pfft, what the hell was I thinking? I'm not PLAYING the game... I'm FARMING the game for TROPHIES! Silly me... beating the level quickly and efficiently simply wouldn't give me the points I needed. Clearly the pro way to play that would earn me a trophy would have me standing in the same place and repeatingly attacking someone I would simply avoid in normal gameplay. The point of Bonanza Brothers is to rob a place... that means get the stuff and get out of there. To get the trophy, I simply stood in one place and kept slamming a door on a guard over and over for points. Oh, and by the way, the trophy guide had NO strategy for that one. I guess among trophy-hunters, a strategy so convoluted and seemingly foolish is common knowledge. (Actually, the 360 achievement guide DOES mention my strategy. I guess I wouldn't be surprised if 360 owners have achievement hunting down better than PS3 owners.)

Next on the list we have Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine, which is simply Puyo Puyo or Kirby's Avalanche. Uh-oh, this one's a gold trophy... Aww man... I have to complete the game? Trophy guide, say it ain't so! ... Oh, thank God... it ISN'T so. Look up the password for the last stage in the game, pop that in, beat the stage and congratulations! Gold trophy. (Admittedly, I didn't want to play that much M.B.M. but it felt cheap and dirty.)

Vectorman 2... let's see, what do I have to do to get this easy silver... REACH SCENE 11?!? But... but... that game's hard! *consults trophy guide* ... Ohh... Phew... *Puts in level cheat, skips to stage 11.* Silver trophy.

I think I've illustrated my point in how trophies/achievements can be game-breaking, but I've got one last issue to address before I stop bashing them. There's no standard in how difficult it should be to get an achievement/trophy, which leads to some hilariously stupid comparisons. For example, that bronze trophy I mentioned for Ecco? Apparently beating MvC2 with a team of Street Fighter characters and using no continues is considered to be the same level of difficulty as pressing a button once. Oh, and beating Mega Man 10 on hard difficulty is a bronze trophy as well. Not to mention, gold is clearly better than silver, right? Why then, is beating Mega Man 10 without ever getting hit a silver trophy, and collecting 100 rings with Tails in the first stage of Sonic 3 a gold trophy? Don't get me wrong, I realize some games have stupidly hard trophies and some have stupidly easy ones, but some players work so hard to up their "gamerscore" or their "trophy level" and for what? To prove their superiority over other gamers? Sorry, but I'm still going to consider the guy who can beat Mega Man 10 without getting hit a better player than the guy who sits through Terminator Salvation regardless of the fact that the trophies would argue otherwise.

I suppose I sound like a crotchety old man complaining about these newfangled video games, but I'm not here to say that achievements/trophies are all bad. Sometimes earning a trophy that actually takes work can feel satisfying. Trophies can also allow you to discover things about a game you might not have thought of or play the game in a new light (such as clearing an area of the game without using certain common items or only using a certain weapon). In these cases, I support achievements and think they are a welcome innovation in video games. However, it's all too often that you hear about people playing through terrible games just for easy trophies or breaking a game to crack it open and reveal the delicious easy-trophy center. I did my time, I got my "platinum" trophy, but it still doesn't compare to the rewarding feeling of simply beating a challenging game. I'm not entirely against trophies... but if there was a game called, "Trophy get!" and all you did was leave it on for a certain amount of hours on a blank screen and get trophies for it, it would probably sell... and that really scares me.